In our family portrait we look pretty happy

note: The post written by Pat Lemieux  that this blog is in response to can be found on the BDN Blog Manchild

“In our family portrait we look pretty happy…we look pretty normal…Let’s play pretend. Act like it goes naturally” – Pink “Family Portrait”

I’ve never been one to take pictures. I prefer to fully experience the moment and store the memories in my heart. Pictures are nice for nostalgia but they become things and I’ve learned that things fill up boxes and dust covered albums. I’m way more into living the moment than recording it for the future.

I like looking at pictures of your kids on Facebook because they’re cute and they remind me of raising my own children. My kids are turning 24 and 25 shortly. If I show you pictures of them from my wallet you’d think me at best oddly endearing.

I like the action pics. Posed photos always seem contrived to me – they’re don’t reflect what’s real. Show me pictures of children unabashedly laughing, not a family composed and smiling appropriately. It’s “nice” at best and its just another way for us to judge by appearances.

I’ve learned a lot about the contrast between how people appear and how they are. I’ve seen that in the past my insecurities resulted in making invalid comparisons. I was comparing what I felt to what other people appeared to feel. I’ve learned that extra 15 pounds is something only I give a damn about.

I’ve learned that an awful lot of us are good at hiding our true selves. Most of all, I’ve learned that comparing myself to any person is self limiting.

Don’t get me wrong – you look very nice in your family portrait. I just care a lot more about how you are when there’s camera around.

Pat – I’ve lived long enough and well enough to appreciate what I mocked as a young man. To wit – a bit of country music for you:

“If you’re doing what you’re able And putting food there on the table And providing for the family that you love That’s something to be proud of.” – Montgomery Gentry “Something to be Proud of”

note: The post written by Pat Lemieux  that this blog is in response to can be found on the BDN Blog Manchild

Jim LaPierre

About Jim LaPierre

Jim LaPierre LCSW CCS is the Executive Director of Higher Ground Services in Brewer, Maine. He is a Recovery Ally, mental health therapist and addictions counselor. He specializes in facilitating recovery (whether from addiction, trauma, depression, anxiety, or past abuse) overcome obstacles, and improve their quality of life. Jim is the cofounder of an online addiction recovery program that is affordable and provides complete anonymity